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Archive for the tag “cosleeping with a baby”

Only Mama

Tonight is our 2nd night in Amsterdam. It will also be the 2nd night V and I sleep on the bed together and the boys together. Seriously, M rocked her to sleep and it was full of tears and screams. Then she wouldn’t let him put her down – not even on the bed!
I come in and nurse her on the bed. It took me at least 15 min before I could leave. About 10 min after l left, as I’m enjoying my slice of Old Beemster cheese (which, btw, I think, is the most delicious cheese EVER, and in Holland, is so damn cheap! I just bought a pack for €5.50 for 400g. That’s insane! In Canada, that would be at least $20.). So I’m lying in bed, nursing her and enjoying my Beemster. Not bad.
Again, i tried to leave, in an attempt to brush my teeth and take out my contact lens. And what happens? She cries. And cries. I send M in. She still cries. M put her on his chest to try to sleep her. She pushes off him. I hurry and use the toilet while brushing my teeth and take my “eyes” out and go back in the room.
V is balling hard and is so angry. How could I leave her? (btw, I just felt her hand smack me on the shoulder. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. But she likes to know I’m in the bed still by touch or hanging on to my arm or finger. No, really, she does that. You should see the picture on my post called “Please don’t go”.). Again, for the third time, I nurse her. This time I’m good to stay since I’m ready for bedtime.
I’ve just detached from her about 5 minutes ago but I think she’s having phobia of me leaving her again. She just cried out just now and we are attached once again. I sometimes feel that my nipples will fall off because she nurses so much at night.


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