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Archive for the tag “Attachment parenting”

Our Parenting Style

Growing up, I had two very parenting
styles – mommy and daddy. Mom was always the stricter one, not showing too much emotions and a lot of tough love. As a kid, it’s hard to buy that. Dad was always the gentler and more patient one – maybe that’s why I was a daddy’s girl.

Now that I’m a parent, I have my own style, and thank goodness M and I have compatible styles. Ever since both kids were babies, I’ve always had them close to me – preferring to wear them for naps and walks and even exercise classes. I loved it – I knew I wouldn’t have it for long and I wanted to enjoy that. Like breast feeding, it’s a beautiful closeness I can have with my baby. I wouldn’t change anything.

I guess a lot of what I do is classified under attachment parenting. I believe in it – I think it definitely has benefits for the child. Z is so close to me that whenever I’m at his level, whether the floor or the bed, he’s always hugging me, nuzzling my belly and just being close to me. Some people may call him a mama’s boy. Call it whatever you like, we are just tuned to each other.

He just turned three about a week ago but if you closed your eyes and heard him speak, you would think otherwise. Z is a vibrant, sensitive, creative and intelligent boy.

Having said all that, he has a very hard time being separated from me. We have not been able to make him feel comfortable about him being left with others. The only person we have entrusted him with is his former nanny. He even refuses his grandparents, let alone strangers. Camp was hard the first few days.

Today, while at a playground, he was playing with the mulch, putting piles of it on this spinning thing. He’s three and that’s how he plays with it. Two older kids came by to use only to find it covered in mulch. Z was right there and overheard the older boy say, “That’s not cool.” as he and his friend brushed the mulch off.

Suddenly I watched Z’s body language and facial expression change. I knew he was upset.

He cried in the car. My three year old was offended because he felt the older boy’s action was mean. (Secretly, I thought that boy was a jerk for saying it loud. He obviously didn’t think Z would hear him.)

Now V is also very in touch with her emotions. When the two play together, she is always generous and giving. This afternoon after Z came down from his nap, V leaned in to look into his face, as he was on the iTouch, as if to say “hi” and check on him. She is sweet as sugar – giving lots of kisses to us and smiles and waves to strangers.

Calm After the Storm

After the chaos from the morni

ng, V finally settled. She had that 20 min nap that drove me insane. While Z was napping I let V play for a little and nurse her. Then I wore her in the wrap while I watched Lipstick Jungle. She fell asleep calmly. I missed that. I’m sure she did as well.

I know that having time to play with Z was important and that was the main reason why I started napping her in the swing. It lasted for only a week She loves being close to me and I just love the look on her face when she wakes and looks up at me.

She ended napping for 30 min that time and once more at 430. I felt much better. For bedtime though, she only wanted me and M couldn’t settle her down so I had to leave Z and go to her. While I was out she didn’t wake.

Only at 10pm did she have a cry that was mixed with screaming and I went to her. I let her nurse because I was getting too full. She’s back in the crib now.

Attachment Parenting

When I had Z as a baby, I read about attachment parenting. I was always nursing him, it seems, but I didn’t mind it. Until I went back to work and was exhausted everyday. We ended up sleep training him and he’s fine now.

Now, with V, she does not like the swing or the chair. She will happily sit on the floor or couch with some toys. That’s about it. Oh, yeah, let’s not forget the wrap and my arms. She would rather sleep in those 2 places than in her crib.

Crib naps last as little as 15-20 min and as long as 30 min. She needs to be nursed and rocked to sleep. Carseat naps aren’t any easier. She needs to be walked and as soon as there is a change of environment, she wakes up.

It looks like I’m going to just accept this and be happy with it. Oh well.

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