Our Parenting Style
Growing up, I had two very parenting
styles – mommy and daddy. Mom was always the stricter one, not showing too much emotions and a lot of tough love. As a kid, it’s hard to buy that. Dad was always the gentler and more patient one – maybe that’s why I was a daddy’s girl.
Now that I’m a parent, I have my own style, and thank goodness M and I have compatible styles. Ever since both kids were babies, I’ve always had them close to me – preferring to wear them for naps and walks and even exercise classes. I loved it – I knew I wouldn’t have it for long and I wanted to enjoy that. Like breast feeding, it’s a beautiful closeness I can have with my baby. I wouldn’t change anything.
I guess a lot of what I do is classified under attachment parenting. I believe in it – I think it definitely has benefits for the child. Z is so close to me that whenever I’m at his level, whether the floor or the bed, he’s always hugging me, nuzzling my belly and just being close to me. Some people may call him a mama’s boy. Call it whatever you like, we are just tuned to each other.
He just turned three about a week ago but if you closed your eyes and heard him speak, you would think otherwise. Z is a vibrant, sensitive, creative and intelligent boy.
Having said all that, he has a very hard time being separated from me. We have not been able to make him feel comfortable about him being left with others. The only person we have entrusted him with is his former nanny. He even refuses his grandparents, let alone strangers. Camp was hard the first few days.
Today, while at a playground, he was playing with the mulch, putting piles of it on this spinning thing. He’s three and that’s how he plays with it. Two older kids came by to use only to find it covered in mulch. Z was right there and overheard the older boy say, “That’s not cool.” as he and his friend brushed the mulch off.
Suddenly I watched Z’s body language and facial expression change. I knew he was upset.
He cried in the car. My three year old was offended because he felt the older boy’s action was mean. (Secretly, I thought that boy was a jerk for saying it loud. He obviously didn’t think Z would hear him.)
Now V is also very in touch with her emotions. When the two play together, she is always generous and giving. This afternoon after Z came down from his nap, V leaned in to look into his face, as he was on the iTouch, as if to say “hi” and check on him. She is sweet as sugar – giving lots of kisses to us and smiles and waves to strangers.