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Archive for the day “August 29, 2012”

Our Parenting Style

Growing up, I had two very parenting
styles – mommy and daddy. Mom was always the stricter one, not showing too much emotions and a lot of tough love. As a kid, it’s hard to buy that. Dad was always the gentler and more patient one – maybe that’s why I was a daddy’s girl.

Now that I’m a parent, I have my own style, and thank goodness M and I have compatible styles. Ever since both kids were babies, I’ve always had them close to me – preferring to wear them for naps and walks and even exercise classes. I loved it – I knew I wouldn’t have it for long and I wanted to enjoy that. Like breast feeding, it’s a beautiful closeness I can have with my baby. I wouldn’t change anything.

I guess a lot of what I do is classified under attachment parenting. I believe in it – I think it definitely has benefits for the child. Z is so close to me that whenever I’m at his level, whether the floor or the bed, he’s always hugging me, nuzzling my belly and just being close to me. Some people may call him a mama’s boy. Call it whatever you like, we are just tuned to each other.

He just turned three about a week ago but if you closed your eyes and heard him speak, you would think otherwise. Z is a vibrant, sensitive, creative and intelligent boy.

Having said all that, he has a very hard time being separated from me. We have not been able to make him feel comfortable about him being left with others. The only person we have entrusted him with is his former nanny. He even refuses his grandparents, let alone strangers. Camp was hard the first few days.

Today, while at a playground, he was playing with the mulch, putting piles of it on this spinning thing. He’s three and that’s how he plays with it. Two older kids came by to use only to find it covered in mulch. Z was right there and overheard the older boy say, “That’s not cool.” as he and his friend brushed the mulch off.

Suddenly I watched Z’s body language and facial expression change. I knew he was upset.

He cried in the car. My three year old was offended because he felt the older boy’s action was mean. (Secretly, I thought that boy was a jerk for saying it loud. He obviously didn’t think Z would hear him.)

Now V is also very in touch with her emotions. When the two play together, she is always generous and giving. This afternoon after Z came down from his nap, V leaned in to look into his face, as he was on the iTouch, as if to say “hi” and check on him. She is sweet as sugar – giving lots of kisses to us and smiles and waves to strangers.

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Getting ready in the morning is usually a challenge for us, especially when both kids are awake. This morning, while M sleeps in for another 30 minutes, I get myself and the kids ready. I put both of them in Z’s room with the gates up. As fast as I can be, they still are impatient and are whining about coming out. So as I brush my teeth, I gave both of them their toothbrush as well. And that’s how I bought 5 more minutes of time to get ready.

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Childcare dilemma

We have recently run unto a dilemma with child care arrangements. Prior to our trip to Amsterdam, we made arrangements for a home daycare for the kids for when we return to work. We knew the nanny wouldn’t get here in time.

On Tues, we dropped the kids off for 2 hrs at the home daycare and we got to go for chiropractic services. Z was crying even before he got out of the car but was distracted quickly with the Octonauts on tv (it’s his favorite show). V didn’t even cry. we told him we’d be back soon – around 11:30am.

Off we went, all nervous for the kids. I’ll admit, it WAS nice to be without the kids but we missed them! By the time we got there to pick them up, all we could here from the car, as we pulled up across the street, was Z sobbing and crying really hard. We got worried.

We found out that Z was good until a few minutes before we got there. It seems he was miserable there. V was happy to be around the girls. I quickly scooped up my boy to give him a tight hug. Apparently, V slept for 15 minutes in the playpen upstairs and cried for only a little bit. I was happy to hear that because I didn’t think she would sleep at all.

Then just yesterday and today, M and I were talking about the daycare situation there. We really do not approve of it – regardless of he fact that it is cheap. For $35 a day per child, I still expect someintellectual stimulation and creative playtime that doesn’t involve having the tv on the entire day. It makes me upset every time I think about it.

There are some other things that concern me. For example, she has no video monitors anywhere so how does she know if V actually slept? We discovered that V has a sore throat because her voice is a little hoarse today. Maybe she was crying for a lot longer than what she told us. How could she possibly hear anything with the tv running and all the kids around?

It happened to rain that day and so the kids all stayed indoors. Who knows what they do all day? Besides, I don’t think she CAN do much with them. I didn’t see any books or educational toys at all. I just can’t take it anymore. We are not sending our kids back there again.

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This week has been a very busy and stressful week. Why? Well, it IS the last week before we go back to work and that makes Zander very anxious about being apart from us. (This has been giving him a lot of nightmares every night – 3-4 times waking up upset.) Secondly, we have no childcare arrangements for the kids when we return to work. Thirdly, M and I have not gone into to work to prepare anything yet. Lastly, the house is a mess. Nonetheless, we are still trying to enjoy our time together.

Anyhow, we had a busy day today. The teacher rally was today and we took the kids down to Queens Park. We left the house earlier and found parking. Then we walked to Rol San for dim sum since Z was claiming that he was hungry. V was not interested in eating because she was just tired. She fell asleep on the way to Queen’s Park – but for only 20 minutes. We stayed there for about 1 hour and left because the kids needed to nap. Z had a short one – 30 minutes only.

But we found a playground on Hoskin that was awesome and Z had a great time while I walked with V for her nap.

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Z was so tired and silly at dinner time and this is what he was doing.

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